


the tactician's lament

by vexahlla



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: M/M, add tags as more characters show up, fire emblem: awakening au, slowburn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-15
Updated: 2016-11-03
Packaged: 2018-08-22 14:25:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8288902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vexahlla/pseuds/vexahlla
Summary: They are his found family, they gave him a second chance, a purpose; a de Rolo always repays his debts.(a perc'ildan fire emblem: awakening au that no one asked for)[currently on hiatus; chapter's written 5/27 + children paralogues]





	1. new beginnings

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lightinthedarkness](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lightinthedarkness/gifts).



> a perc'ildan fire emblem awakening au; percy filling the role of robin and vax filling the role of chrom, with all the supports and DLC's being written in this world.
> 
> the title was inspired by episode 69's placeholder title, "The Gunslinger's Lament" and it felt fitting to have it here in the AU. this was written for my lovely friend asia, who has been wonderful and amazing, and also has dragged me down in several new fandoms, so technically this could be payback or a thank you gift in return.
> 
> this is my second critical role fanfic, so i apologize for any OOC-ness, and will strive to do my best to portray the characters as best as i'm able canon-wise! thank you, and please enjoy. <3

There is one known fact that he knows right now: his head hurts more than anything.

The white-haired man blinks, cracking his eyes open. Several blinks before his vision clarifies, settling in on the two - no, three - figures before him.

“Uh, oh,” says one. “I think he’s waking up.”

“That’s good,” replies the other, and suddenly he is looking into grey eyes that soften as they meet each other’s gazes. “A field isn’t necessarily the best place to sleep, you know.” He (the dark-haired one) says, holding out a hand to him. (He doesn’t necessarily know who he is; the memory and idea of himself and who he should be escapes him.)

He (the white-haired one) blinks, and takes the other man’s hand, pulling himself up to his feet. The surge of heat that crawls up his arm at the contact feels like it should be familiar. He wishes, selfishly, that it was; he doesn’t know why. “Thank you,” and then he is looking around, searching for anything that can answer his questions that seem to multiply by the minute.

He is standing in a field of flowers (sunflowers, he recognizes) that’s on the outskirts of a forest, in the distance a series of mountain ranges far as the eye can see. It’s breathtaking how the sun illuminates the field before them, or how it crests over the mountains. But there is the discomfort beneath skin and bone, something that has nestled itself into his soul almost. It’s discomforting, like the awkward shifting of plates in a way. He doesn’t know why.

“You alright?” asks the dark-haired man, releasing their hands. He finds himself missing the contact immediately.

He nods. “Yes, ah, thank you, Vax’ildan.”

The third figure, which isn’t a figure at all, but a lumbering bear that has been quietly staring at the scene huffs at this. He wonders, with a growing unease in his stomach, how he missed that. A cold sweat falls down his throat at this realization.

Vax only grins. “Ah, so you know who I am?”

“Ah, no actually…” He finds himself saying before he can process the words. “Your name just came to me, actually. Strange.”

The woman on Vax’s right huffs, eyes narrowing in suspicion at him. The bear follows her movements, head lowered as a growl comes out. “Yes, how peculiar,” says the woman.

Vax only shakes his head. “Well, that’s interesting… What’s your name, then?”

His mouth opens to reply, sure of the answer, then closes it as his memory draws blanks. He blinks, once, twice, before he stops himself, and opens his mouth again. “I… I don’t actually know.”

“You don’t know your own name?” Both Vax and the woman say at the same time.

“I-I’m not entirely…” He trails off, the confusion turning into momentary panic that seizes him whole. Just who is he? His mind is a solid blank, a piece of paper unfilled. “Pardon me, but where am I exactly?” If something can be answered, then maybe he’ll remember more. Hopefully.

There is something that curls around his heart again, seizing it with panic once again. His lungs feel as if they are full of smoke and ash, and it is a struggle to breathe. He looks around, studying his surroundings. There has to be something, anything - he wants nothing more than to remember.

There is nothing familiar about the mountains or the flowers, nothing familiar about the twenty, thirty, even forty foot tall trees to the south, nor nothing familiar about his clothing or himself. There’s an ache in his chest when he looks at Vax, and that, he knows, is familiar enough. But still, he wonders if he has a home or a name, a family to see, or friends to write to. Nothing is familiar and he is out of place.

“Well,” starts Vax, drawing him out of his thoughts. “You’re on the outskirts of Emon, right on the border between Emon, Kraghammer, and Kymal.” The names bring up no memory, and that sparks more fear, but he pushes it away.

“We’re near the Torian Forest,” the woman adds. “And to the south lays the Silvercut Roadway.”

Vax nods, and looks back to Percy. “Does that ring any bells?” as the same time Percy says: “None of that sounds familiar.”

“Well,” Vax mutters, “Shit.” And then he’s running a hand down his face, a sigh escaping his lips. “Well, I want to help you remember, is there anything I can–”

The woman cuts in, casting a glance at the slowly darkening sky. “Perhaps we should finish this conversation away from the woods and somewhere safer?” 

The bear (he is still attempting to wrap his head around the fact that there is a bear who follows these two,) grunts in agreement with her.

“There’s a town nearby,” Vax agrees after a moment. “We can figure out your amnesia there.”

-

They walk in relative silence, while he (white haired and oddly colored clothing) struggles with figuring out his name. They gave no inclination to where the town was, and he shuffles behind–-behind the _humanoids_ , he corrects himself, because the bear continues to huff at him if he walks too slow–-the two in front of him. Introductions were short, though, but he learned that the woman’s name was Vex’ahlia, but she preferred Vex, and the bear was Trinket.

It still unnerved him that there was a damn bear, content to follow them around like a pet.

“Ah,” He says, when almost half an hour has passed and realization hits him, the beginning of a headache too at this point. “Percival.”

“Pardon?” says Vax, turning his head around to stare at him, one brow raised as to question him.

“My name,” he clarifies, clearing his throat. “Percival Fredrickstein Von Mussel Klossowski de Rolo the Third. That’s my name.”

Vax and Vex share a glance with each other, then back to Percival. “Right, Percy it is then.” And then they’re grinning at the scowl on his face, before he relents and gives in.

Percival– _Percy_ –huffs, and rolls his eyes. He’ll live with it.

-

They stop for the briefest of moments, catching their breaths, and using the shade of a nearby trade to escape the boiling heat from the sun. Vex and Vax look like they are suffocating under the heat with their dark clothing, but Percy wonders if he’s used to such treks, as his body is content with how they’re progressing. Maybe the clothes help?

“Is the town nearby?” asks Percy, when the twins are slowly pushing themselves off the ground, looking better than they had a minute before.

“Should be,” replies Vax, and Vex adds onto that: “About another few minutes.”

A few minutes could be anytime now, he concludes, and sighs, turning his head to look around at their surroundings. They’re avoiding the forest and the main road almost completely, letting Vex lead them across a dirt path. “It’s quicker,” she had said. “We’ll get there far sooner than the main road could get us.” He’s not sure if he believes her yet.

Percy looks off towards the direction that they’ve been heading, which is north east, scanning the tops of distant trees until smoke catches his eye. “Is…” He starts, placing a hand on Vax’s shoulder to gain his attention. He feels more than sees Vax tense, as if preparing to attack on reflex, and points towards the smoke when Vax looks over towards him. “Is that… where we’re headed?” 

Vex looks up, before her mouth falls into an ‘o’ shape, and then she’s taking off at a full sprint, bear following behind. “Gods damn it all! What happened?!”

Vax follows after her just as quickly, dragging Percy along by the hand. In a deep part of his mind, Percy realizes that this is somehow, in a way, familiar to him. The rushing into danger part, at least, he hopes.

He frees his hand when they near the entrance, chest heaving with needed air, and stand there looking in as figures stand around, looting and plundering whatever they can from what he can tell. Percy can make out, briefly, a few more figures being shoved around. He doesn’t need to guess what’s happening, and he quickly informs the other two. He sees the layout in his mind, placing the figures on the board in his memory like chess pieces, and sets to work.

He convinces himself that it shouldn’t be too hard, but realistically, he knows it could go far worse.

There is a sword clasped to his belt, and he wrenches that free, holding it within his left hand. There’s a tome also clasped onto his belt, and he can briefly make out the words of ‘Thunder’ before a warning catches him off guard, pulling him out of his thoughts.

“They know we’re here!” Vex calls over her shoulder, already in the process notching an arrow and aiming. Her aim is sure and absolute, Percy sees, watching as the first bandit falls with a guttural sound, the almost scream that broke free from his lips, and slumps against the ground with two arrows protruding from his chest. The hairs on the back of his neck stand, a cold chill that goes down his spine.

Vax grunts as a response to her, throwing a dagger towards the nearest bandit that approaches, and Percy watches with amazement as it finds the perfect mark, sinking into the weakened part of makeshift armor, and causing the bandit to tumble. Then Vax is unsheathing the sword on his side, rushing forward and meeting blades with the same bandit, free hand reaching for the hilt of his dagger before ripping through the unprotected skin. The cold chill creeps up his neck too, at this point.

Percy realizes, in that moment, that he is utterly fucked.

A bandit–pale skin, but still the grin of a bloodthirsty man underneath the metal hood–rushes towards him, using Percy’s brief moment of being lost in thought to bring his axe swinging down towards him. He barely manages to raise his sword in time to deflect the blow, and digs his heels into the ground to stop himself from losing his footing. He’s both familiar and unfamiliar with close quarter combat, he realizes. Then he’s pushing with all his force to knock the other man, placing his weight into the sword, and into the shove.

He only manages to push the other back two, then three, then finally five feet before Percy himself takes shaking steps back. _Breathe_ , he tells himself, _breathe it’s fine_. Out of the corner of his eye, he watches Vex down another bandit, Vax following closely up behind her, dagger and sword at the ready, dripping with blood.

_Prove your worth_ , a voice says in the back of his mind, _prove that you should be kept alive_.

He uses the seconds he’s bought himself and reaches down, grasping the tome on his belt and grasps that with his right hand, sword in left. The words on the page seem foreign, before adjusting in his mind, and before he can even imagine saying the words aloud, his eyes flicker to the bandit. Something about electricity and metal and being a conduit is all he thinks about in that brief window.

“Sorry,” Percy grins, and watches the bandit’s face twist from amusement to confusion. There’s a spark of energy that fills up in the air around him, makes all the hairs on his arms and neck stand up on end, the tingling sensation starts in his hand, crawls up his arm, across his chest then closer up to his throat, sitting upon his tongue. A single spark that was created by his imagination, melded into reality.

It’s exhilarating, this magic. This book, even more so.

“Thunder,” he says, whispering the book’s name. It’s what he imagines, it’s what his mind fills with. A single spark of lightning, the crashing sound of thunder all around him, a deadly blow striking his enemies true in the heart. The tingling sensation escapes his lungs, and his hand feels like it’s been caught on fire for the briefest of moments before the magic escapes him. It leaves just as quickly as it came, within the blink of an eye.

The magic releases out of his hand, and arcs directly towards the bandit. The bandit raises his axe – an iron axe, Percy smiles at that – to attempt and deflect the blow, but it only drives the point far deeper. A sense of accomplishment and satisfaction fills Percy’s mind, and he tucks in the horror of killing another into the deepest part of his hearts. The cry of anguish that leaves the bandit’s lips is pitiful, and when he falls onto his knees, smoke rising off his armor and burnt gloves alike, Percy moves past him without a second glance. He can afford no distractions.

Vex and Vax have made fast work of the bandits on the western side of the camp, though Vax is more in the middle than anything. Percy moves quickly past shop stands, whispering the words of magic to reality, and watches with awe as it strikes through each target with an accuracy that feels both deadly and right in his hands. Before long, the eastern side is clear, the only bodies are the bandits, faces filled with regret. It’s sickening how happy it makes Percy, but the smiles on the villager’s faces, even shaky, manage to tell him “it’s alright.”

Vax catches up to him, placing a gloved hand on Percy’s forearm. “You alright, Percy?” He asks, eyes scanning over the other man’s attire. There are a few scratches and torn cloth, but he already knows it’s something he can fix, given the proper resources and time. “I hope they didn’t give you too much trouble,” and there’s the teasing grin that Percy was waiting for.

It doesn’t help that his face heats up slightly when he finds himself admiring the smile more than the question asked.

“I’m alright,” Percy shrugs, looking over to where Vex and Trinket are beginning to make their way towards them. “The bandits are worse for wear than I, that I can assure you.” He dusts off his hands, placing the tome back upon his belt, and sheathes his sword. The magic still lingers in his hands, the faintest sparks. It’s comforting, in a way.

Vax nods at him. “We still haven’t caught sight of their leader,” he sighs. “Though, these bandits did cross over the border.”

“Trying to aggravate our forces into declaring a war, no doubt.” adds Vex from behind, which causes Percy to jump practically out of his own skin, heart beat rapid from the sudden scare.

“Ah, yes, well,” he says, trying to ignore the snicker from the twins, and surveys the area. “If I were their leader, I’d set myself up in the center of town, presumably.”

“Well,” Vax says. “I say we go there then, and evacuate as many people as we can.”

“Not all the buildings have caught fire,” replies Vex. “Though, we’ll need to move quickly if we want to save as many people as we can.”

“Then let us go,” Percy nods, and follows behind Vax as the prince begins to rush ahead.

-

Had Percy known that Vax _enjoyed_ rushing headfirst into danger, then he wouldn’t had agreed to join them on this errand. His hair was already white enough, any added stress would remove the possibility of it returning to it’s natural colour. Whatever that was.

Still, Percy had to admit, the need to protect his new friend was great, and the mystery of somehow feeling like he knew the twins was even greater. Percy was a selfish man, and he wanted answers. It had to be the only reason why he was staying even now.

So, here he was, standing next to Vax as they approached the bridge where the Bandit Leader–Garrick, he called himself–stood, axe slung over his shoulder, as the other bandit’s scurried about, trying to avoid arrows and Percy’s magic no less.

“Here, sheepy sheepy!” The voice was annoyingly loud and, well, _annoying_. “Come to the slaughter!”

Vax’s facial expression darkened, eyes catching onto the slain corpses of unfortunate villages behind Garrick, and his hands clenched into fists. Percy could only offer silent sympathy towards the man. “Let’s shut him up, eh?”

“We’ll pick off the remaining vultures,” Vex shouted over. “Won’t we Trinket, buddy?” The following reply was a grunt from their friendly bear. Percy didn’t feel better at that, his mind keeping a mental note on where she was, just in case. He had to be prepared for everything.

Vax was already unsheathing his blade and dagger and walking across the bridge before Percy knew it, too caught up in his thoughts and worrying. ( _Note_ , he thinks, _Vax enjoys long walks headfirst into danger and sharp objects. Preferably not together_.)

Percy catches up easily, he is a bit taller than Vax’ildan himself, a few inches at most, but still his strides easily match the prince’s. Vax is still silent, still quiet, face and mood darkened with every step that he takes. Percy, somehow, in the depths of his soul and heart, understands the feeling. 

“Together?” He asks the prince, one hand already reaching for the tome.

“Together,” replies Vax, and he rushes forwards with blades drawn.


	2. quiet nights; part one of two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Traveling with the twins feels like a chore more than anything else, Percy thinks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the late update! school is really grinding on me lately, so i've decided to split this particular part into two chapters so i can balance out work and everything; along with school, i might be throwing a job into the mix, but i'm determined to keep this going! so updates are going to be probably really slow, rip ;;

He is coated in blood and mud, and there are twigs and leafs stuck in his hair, they’ve been walking for a better part of three hours; his leg muscles feel like fire, and he is _miserable._ Both twins (and bear) were having a far better time than he, although Vex and Trinket more so than either of them, and Vax had taken to stalking off on the side, keeping his quiet complaints about the forest to himself after an hour. Traveling with the twins feels more like a chore than anything else, Percy thinks.

Taking in a deep breath, Percy ran a hand through his hair, wincing and gritting his teeth as he fought with the tangles and twigs. Vax gives him a sidelong glance, one side of his mouth turning up in amusement. Percy fought back the urge to snap at him, and instead sighed and continued to fight with his hair. His coat would be something he’d tackle later on, when they were seated and resting and not walking anymore. If he had the energy to complain about his outfit, and his hair, and his general appearance, then he would absolutely if not for Vax staring at him like that. When Vax looks at him, he feels more self-conscious, as if the twigs in his hair makes him look more like a fool than a supposed tactician than anything. It's humiliating, almost, for him to care about stuff like this when his memory is all gone.

Looking up, the sun was just beginning to set over the mountains, the sky was a dull orange and pink, slowly beginning to bleed over into the purple and darkened night sky. Only a half hour left of sunlight or less, Percy thought, eyes studying their surroundings; their best bet was most likely to camp outside, the town was two hours back, and the capital was another few day’s travel on foot. Grumbling to himself, his hands itched for something to do, something that could occupy himself with, whether it be just writing or sketch or _something._

The need to distract his mind from a coming migraine was high.

Vex and Vax talked quietly to themselves, shoulders bumping ever so slightly as they walked; he couldn’t make out what they were saying, and didn’t want to bother. His main concern was the lumbering bear that was practically glued to his side, keeping a keen eye and nose on him, shoving him forward at random times with his nose. Percy stumbled a few times because of that, and shot a dirty glare towards the bear whenever he regained his footing. Trinket only gave a small huff, and Percy concluded the bear was laughing at him.

“You know,” he says, glancing down towards the bear on his right. “The more I think about it, the more interesting this idea becomes.”

Trinket only tilted his head at him, eyes following Percy and his hand movements.

Percy grins, “Now, now, don’t be so touchy. I’m sure this is a wonderfully splendid idea,” Or maybe it was the worst idea, but Percy kept that thought to himself. “I’m thinking of a bear barrel roll. A... bear-el roll, if you will.” He hummed to himself, giving this train of idea an actual thought to it. “You could definitely take down a clustered group of enemies, given your size.”

Trinket huffed at him, and it felt more like out of agreement than anything.

“Are you talking to my bear?” Vex calls out, and Percy feels his entire body burn with embarrassment.

_Note,_ he thinks mentally, _I’m a full body blusher. Lovely._

“He makes for interesting company,” replies Percy. “And I didn’t wish to disturb either of you.” Clinging to what scraps of dignity he has left in this moment, he straightens his shoulders and raises his head high, forcing a smile onto his face. “Besides, we were quite in agreement, weren’t we, Trinket?”

Trinket only huffs again. It’s neither reassuring for discomforting.

Vex only grins back at him, clearly amused with the whole situation. Vax’s gaze lingers longer than what Percy would consider normal, and feels his throat become dry at that realization. While he felt like shrinking under his gaze - which was becoming more and more tempting the longer Vax’s eyes stayed on him - he felt determined to keep his ground, which was why he locked and held gazes with the prince-rogue.

If time could have slowed to a crawl and stayed fixed in place, then Percy would’ve welcomed that; in the midst of battle and attempting to prove his worth, there was no time to study the features of Vax. From the raven black hair held back by braids on the side of his face, allowing the longer length to lay against his back - to which Percy thought impractical in the face of battle, but he had no place to question Vax’s choices - then to the sharp grey eyes, and he wondered if it was a trick of the light or if there was bags under Vax’s eyes. He wouldn’t be surprised by either, and felt only a pang of sympathy towards the man.

Vax’s lips quirked up at the sides, slowly blossoming into a small smile, the mere action of that made Percy’s heart stop briefly. Content with whatever he found, the rogue turned back to the road, leaving Percy to collect his thoughts.

So much for staying collected.

Feeling his face flush, Percy forced his gaze (and thoughts) towards the surroundings around him, and nowhere near Vax.

\----

Finding a suitable place to camp was difficult, Vex was specific in what needed to be around them; “Surrounded by trees,” she had specified, “It’s ample cover from rain and easier to hide in,” and then added: “And near a source of water,” along with other particular lists after that. Percy was sure she was just messing with him, but the benefits of a campsite that had all that was good enough that he set upon searching (with Trinket trailing behind him, of course) as quickly as possible.

Luckily for him, he didn’t tire out as quickly as the twins, said twins currently sitting under shade to catch their breaths and to cool off from the blistering heart, and he made sure to find a somewhat suitable place to camp. It wasn’t difficult, especially with Trinket helping as much as a bear could; it was near a small pond, and had a few trees around enough to count as cover by Vex’s standards.

Or so he hoped.

The twins caught up with human and bear shortly afterwards, finding Percy taking his much needed break, coat off and laying in his lap. He only gave a half-wave as a means to acknowledge their presence, and Trinket was happily drinking as much water as his body could hold.

“We’re going to need to get some firewood,” Vex said, staring up at the darkening sky. Vax stood next to her, mimicking her movements, eyes scanning the horizon for whatever dangers laid ahead.

Percy let out a small breath. “And some food, preferably. I don’t know about you both, but I’m starving.” He hadn’t noticed it earlier, in the town, but his stomach had a burning sensation that he had passed off for lingering adrenaline, only now that the burning sensation had turned into a twisting hunger. Hunting wouldn’t be so difficult from where they were, he hoped.

Vax nodded to Percy’s words, nudging his sister in the side with his elbow. “He’s right, we’ll need to get something in our stomach for the walk home.” As he was speaking, another smile creeped upon his face. “How about me and Percy get some firewood, and you and Trinket do what you do best, eh?”

Vex wrinkled her nose, “Making us do the dirty work? How cruel.” But she unsheathed her bow, and winked at her brother. “Let’s see who gets their job done the quickest, eh?”

“You’re on,” replies Vax, making his way towards Percy - who eyed both twins warily, arms crossed across his chest - an easy grin had crossed his face, holding out his hand for the tactician to grab. Percy’s gaze flickered between Vax’s face and his hand like before, and with a groan he allowed the rogue to pull him to his feet.

Between the two of them, finding firewood wasn’t difficult, but Percy couldn’t help but feel on edge as they moved deeper and deeper into the forest, grabbing branches as they did so.

“So,” says Vax, drawing Percy out of his thoughts as he reached down for another branch. The tactician spares a glance over his shoulder, seeing that Vax has been watching him for some time. A chill crawls down his spine at this.

“So?” answers Percy, keeping his voice as neutral as possible. A forest interrogation was not a possibility he thought of, but Vax had been proving him wrong all day. This was just another thing to check off the list.

Vax thinks over his words for a moment, gaze never leaving Percy’s. Percy found himself desperately wishing for a drink to parch his suddenly dry throat, feeling a heat beginning to crawl up his neck from the intensity of Vax’s stare. “Do you remember anything else?” He says finally, tilting his head at Percy.

Even leaning against a tree, Vax sounded more terrifying than he looked in this moment. Percy said his blessings for the distance (only a mere ten feet, but it was better than anything) that was between them. He doesn’t feign ignorance when one of Vax’s hands remains on the hilt of a dagger. Even while a prince, and perhaps maybe a friend as well, Percy knows where he stands. It’s not very high, currently.

“Not much else, besides my name.” Percy answers truthfully, holding his gaze for a second more, before looking down to his quickly growing pile of branches and sticks in his arms. “I know how a battlefield can be swayed, I can see the weaknesses in an enemy’s defense,” he trails off, wishing that Vax would grant him a moment of peace and look away. The rogue didn’t. “I understand the basics of simple strategy, the benefits of working together, fighting side by side.”

He looks up towards Vax again, waiting for an answer.

“That’s all?” Vax asks, voice flickering between sympathetic than threatening. Percy cannot fault him for being cautious and wary, and if he had his way, Percy would wish it, this, whatever this may be, to stay this way.

Percy nods his head. “I wish I could remember more, but please believe me when I say I’ve told you all I know.” He smiles only a bit, and adds: “Literally.”

Vax’s reply is a smile of his own, walking towards the human with careful, easy steps. The movement towards him makes Percy’s nerves stand on edge, ready to fight or take flight away from him. “Well then,” says Vax, clasping an arm on Percy’s shoulder. “I’m sure this is more than enough firewood for one night. Let’s head back, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Percy says, and swallows the lump in his throat when Vax smiles at him again.

\----

Vex is sitting on a stump when they return, Trinket laying behind her while snoring softly. She eyes them as they step back into their small clearing, arms full with a bundle of firewood, and Percy is careful with his gazes, never lingering too long. He remains as calm and collected as he can be, even through the gaze that feels like pin needles on his back stays. The feeling hasn't left him since he first met the twins, and still he wonders if joining them was the proper decision at all. Sure, he's incredibly smart and handsome, but the twins must have an ulterior motive instead of just using him as a tactician. His fists clench, and he thinks to himself that everyone must have an ulterior motive.

The voice in his head reminds him that they could kill him in his sleep.

“I win,” she tells Vax, smirking as her twin only rolls his eyes. She sticks her tongue out at him, grinning from ear to ear, cleaning her blade. To her left is the remains of a stag, gutted and cleaned, and Percy can see the bite marks, no doubt from Trinket, around the poor stag’s neck; there are only two arrows protruding from the stag’s body, and the voice in his head reminds him of how easily they could kill him, if they wanted. It does wonders for his appetite, which he no longer has at this point. The arrows protruding from the stag feel like a punch in the gut, goosebumps that crawl over his body, a shiver of fear and dread that has him clenching his jaw to keep his composure.

“Shut it, stubby.” Vax mutters, and that draws Percy out of his stupor. Purposely dropping the firewood near Vex, the elder twin laughs when she curses at him, dodging out of the way of her attempted punch towards him. The scene before Percy feels familiar almost, the tone in their voices, their movements with each other, even the atmosphere. Everything feels so hauntingly familiar and it makes him feel sick.

Percy feels out of place, and out of time.

Keeping quiet, and to himself, he settles on sitting across from Vex but keeps his distance between himself and the twins, angling himself towards the pond which rests a few yards away. The twins don’t spare him a glance, but Trinket’s eyes follow Percy’s movements. Anyway he moves, well, Percy knows he’ll be watched, and he's not sure whether that's a good thing or bad. He doesn't want them to trust them, he doesn't want to trust himself. Perhaps even a part of himself is hoping for the worst, but the way the twins seem to brighten a bit when he engages in conversation with them keeps the darker thoughts at bay. It's good, this acquaintanceship, for more reasons than one. 

Laying down on the ground does wonders for his aching muscles, and he lets out a heavy sigh, muscles finally being able to relax after hours of walking. It’s a wonder he doesn’t turn into pudding at this. He hears Vax snicker at this, and forces every thought or question about the man out of his head. Percy just wants to relax, to think, to allow himself some much needed rest. Above, the sky has bled from orange to purple, and then to complete darkness, only allowing the stars to peek into the veil, thrown against the night sky like paint against a canvas; the moon peaks out from the mountains, slowly beginning to crest above the horizon, a full moon that lights up the tops of the trees with the comforting light. The clear sky is a comforting and terrifying sight, and the freedom that comes with it even more so.

He wonders idly what it would be like to crest through the clouds, wind whipping all around, feeling the freedom of the rushing air and the sight of valleys and hilltops and the peaks of mountains, flying over rushing rivers or still lakes, to see the world from a new angle. Percy wonders what it’d be like to see a city from above, watching all the people continue about their business, grounded and without their head in the clouds, to see the towers able to match his own height in the sky. Then, suddenly and all at once, he realizes the dangers of being so high up in the air; the reminder that you are nothing more than a fickle piece of loose dust, ready to be thrown off the edge and back unto the still world below, plummeting and rushing down and choking on the air that once held you aloft and --

_Note,_ he thinks mentally, _I have a fear of heights._

Swallowing the growing panic that rose within his chest as he delved into these thoughts, Percy closes his eyes and forces to think and to remember more about himself, about his past whatever it may be. What he draws are blanks, images that float into his conscious and have been faded by time almost. Blurred, all of them, there is only the colours of blue and gold that filter in his mind and that itself isn't a good enough clue for him to draw anything certain from; blue and gold, swallowed quickly by sudden darkness. He doesn't know, and all he carries with him from his past is his pride and his skills. Whatever good they may be, he realizes, but he finds comfort in the fact that there's no one as smart as he.

It’s when Vex kicks him awake, gently as she can muster, that he realizes he fell asleep. He blinks, rubbing his dry eyes and shaking away the fog in his head, and sits up with a slight groan; “What?” He mutters, almost rolling back to sleep when his stomach growls in protest at the lack of food. He's not sure when he fell asleep, but there's an ache in his bones and muscles when he moves, shifting slightly to sit up proper.

“Food,” replies Vex, and he doesn't have to look up to see the smile on her face, then she's handing Percy a bowl of meat. He takes it without complaint, offering a quick thank you before quickly scarfing down what he can.“I hope you like venison, darling. It’s all that we have currently.”

Vax looks up at this, “Just wait till we get to the capital, and then to the rest of Vox Machina; Scanlan can cook some good chicken.” Off on the side, Vex adds with mock-horror: “Brother, that’s all he can cook.”

Ignoring his sister, he continues, “Grog’s good at getting drinks, and Pike and Keyleth together can make anything.” And he's tapping his fingers against his knees - Percy's too distracted by the action to know that Vex is staring at him like a hawk watching their prey - and then Vax smiles. "We're a ragtag group of people, but there's no one else I'd rather have watching my back. We've been through some shit together, and come out a little unscathed - thanks to Pike, of course - but we're all good. I'm glad to know that we'll have you with us, Percy." 

Percy doesn’t miss the smirk on Vex’s face when Vax mentions both Pike and Keyleth in the same sentence, or the same smirk that's directed towards him as Vax finishes speaking. He won’t question it. He shifts uneasily when both twins look him over, and doesn’t look up from his bowl. They say nothing to him, which sets him on edge and comforts him; how draining to be put on edge constantly by a mere glance, and especially even more draining when the trickle of dread crawls into his stomach at their smiles. Percy doesn't look the gift horse in the mouth, and the gift is that they haven't attempted to kill him yet. His hopes for surviving either twin are very high either.

"I'm glad to be here," Percy replies, finally, "I know we've only known each other for a short time, but I am incredibly grateful for the opportunity you have given me. And I'm also grateful that my skills can be put to good use, for a good cause, for the greater good and all that. I'd hate to not do anything with all this knowledge sitting in my head, so thank you for that. I'm glad that you'll have me." And he means it, of course; even if Percy isn't a completely honest man, he knows that what he tells the twin is the absolute, unguarded truth. It terrifies him a bit to know that they have such an effect on him.

Silence then stills over their small campfire, all members happily and quietly finishing the rest of their venison stew in peace. Percy distracts himself by scrubbing the dirt off his coat as much as he can, while Vex and Vax are content to keep watching for anything beyond the treeline. By the time his hands are cramping and hopefully-not-raw, Percy shuffles down onto the ground, using his arms as his pillow for the night. It's not comfortable by any means, but it's not uncomfortable enough where he'll complain just yet. Throwing his still-dirty coat over him, Percy shifts himself over to stare out into the dark night of the forest, tucking his glasses into his coat pocket and straining his eyes to see anything beyond dark blurred figures. When sleep begins to overtake him, exhaustion that had been tugging at the corners of his mind since early in the day, he relishes in the darkness of his dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes i added that percy + trinket sequence because /i/ wanted to make a pun. i have no regrets.

**Author's Note:**

> notes!  
> -percy is tactician advancing into grandmaster class, balancing between tome and sword to pay homage to taliesin's kickass melee fights (see; umbrasyl and sylas briarwood)  
> -vex is an archer advancing into kinshi knight (look i know awakening doesn't have a kinshi knight class but she's gotta Fly.)  
> -vax is a lord dual-wielding sword + dagger, then advancing into a great lord! which i'm like. messing with to mix with an assassin it's weird just work with me.  
> -rest of VM and our favourites will show up in due time don't worry!  
> -main ship focuses are: (of course) perc'ildan, pikeleth, and vexahra. though perc'ildan is the focus, there may be some chapters where the POV changes.
> 
> find me at [tumblr](http://calebwidogst.tumblr.com/) and [twitter](https://twitter.com/calebwidodad)
> 
> hope you enjoyed!


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